beautiful Wendy, the monochrome heightens the mood too...
Those two chairs enhances the sad mood of this poem so much, and the focus on the sounds are perfect in sad nostalgia. Wonderful
It is good to think of him watching as the narrator thinks of him still. A very touching piece especially that squeaky screen door.
The effect of that screen door is fantastic.. creates such an audio visual of the mood.
You have captured the essence of him so beautifully - it is those 'little' details we remember about a person which makes them so special - and much missed..
perfectly pictured especially in the words of sound
In silence you can hear everything. The last line sums up everything. The photo, especially having it in black and white, adds depth to the tanka. Thanks for sharing this Wendy.
You have worked so many details into this short piece, Wendy! And...congratulations on the publication as well!
Such a beautifully poignant piece..!
Nice tangents here achieve a good effect
Wonderful use of detail.
The sad nostalgic tone....I felt myself being taken back to my childhood with those bangs from the screen door.
A total thrill, this moment of loss and fullness, sound and music and silence.
A banging screen door transports me back to childhood. So nostalgic, the golden oldies that remind you of him, in the place he must have loved so much. That is a beautiful photo, Wendy - so serene.
Excellent, effective nostalgia created in this fine tanka. A wonderful photo, too. I want to keep looking at it and lose myself there. Congrats on the publication! I have yet to submit my work to journals and such, but you inspire me to begin doing it!
You really pack in quite the punch in just a few lines. Very nice... this is hard to do.
Just gorgeous Wendy--pulled at my heart strings! And Congratulations Wendy!!
Deeply felt. And the image adds to the nostalgic power evoked by the poem.
The feeling of loss is felt so strongly here. The banging of the screen door is like a cry of grief. Lovely tanka.
One needs to reflect back on oldies sentimental to oneself in between listening to the studio offerings. Rightly so Wendy!Hank
Sentiment and memories, and yet we march (or rest) on.
Nostalgic and painful
excellent tanka! what really nails it, in my opinion, is "squeaky screen door". it shows that he is not there anymore. (no one to repair it). and the monochrome photo adds to the mood.
I can hear that screen door ~ Congrats on the publication Wendy ~
Enjoyed this, Wendy!