Saturday, 4 June 2016

don’t tell me that you’re frightened


a hard rain came down – while I –
cozy and snug in my red flannelette,
eyelet-lace-bedecked gown,
ate peek freans and mandarins
and sipped hot cocoa on the couch …
as yo-yo man celloed me away

offhandedly, you lay my mother’s
raggedy afghan across my knees, as lightning
cut the room in two  ||  a phenomena, which
I had not experienced, in ten years … or more:
the strike of astral might on mortal earth so near
 
thunder boomed then, and I wondered, if I
would find such awestruck marvel in a moment
again, in my life, and if you would be there
to share it with me – the thought, so overwhelming

I caught a tear before it rolled from my eye, though
you must have seen it, for you whispered:
don’t tell me that you’re frightened

note:  Thank you to Björn Rudberg for introducing me to the caesura.  The caesura is a strong pause within a line.  Moving pauses so that they occur within a line, rather than always at the end, creates interest. (In this case, I decided to use it to indicate an abrupt separation in mood within the poem.) A caesura may be marked like this: || 

photo:  Lightening Moment (a picture of a birdhouse that I took and treated in the Lunapic photo program with a “lightning” filter)  – W. Bourke
  
© 2016 Wendy Bourke 

19 comments:

  1. This is absolutely wonderful... there are those moments I will recall of being really close to a loved one with a thunderstorm coming down with lightning... I do love the gestures of comforting with that blanket.

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  2. Ah, one does hope for many awestruck moments in life.....but they can also be frightening. I do like your "Lightning Moment" image as well, Wendy.

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  3. When one is concerned and perhaps rattled nice to have a loved one to give reassurance. A nice feeling, Wendy!


    Hank

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  4. amazing capture of that special moment Wendy.....

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  5. Oh those moments that catch us off guard and we feel them deep inside...loved the use of the pauses and this line,

    'and I wondered, if I
    would find such awestruck marvel in a moment
    again, in my life'

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  6. Wow, I was right there in that room.......loved the eating peek freans and listening to Yo Yo Ma, and then that sudden intense moment - and your wonderings. Wonderfully captured.

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  7. The caesura itself feels like a bolt of lightning in a poem. So this works really well in a poem with such a theme! Nice.

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  8. I love all the vivid detail in this poem, which puts me right there, and even into the mood.

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  9. This is superb Wendy. I love the change in mood, the intrusion of fear and where the frightened thoughts take us. I like the way you wrote to this form. You did a great job!

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  10. Just loved this poem.. just draws the reader into the raw emotion of the moment. Beautifully written.

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  11. Sometimes, we need that loving hand--that caring touch reinforced by a mildly blunt voice--to remind us that we are human, and that it is all right to feel all the emotions. Even the scary ones. Perhaps, especially the scary ones.

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  12. O! Those magic moments!

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  13. I love the feelings that this gave me...it is important not to allow the frightening thoughts to overtake us...but also have the balance of giving them an outlet...

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  14. Such a striking image to accompany this poem - like a time lapse - a vivid memory which seems made up by the little details - the peek freans..and cello man.. then the pause and the flood of memory and person

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  15. This caught my breath. I, too, felt I was in the room. You make me long for a lightning storm--they are amazing. Beautiful and moving poem, my friend.

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  16. I'm sure you were not alone ~ Very moving write Wendy ~ I admire the use of pauses in the lines ~

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  17. Came across you on Grace's site. Your writing ties several thing together in feeling, nature and time. A touching piece.

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  18. Very tender, Wendy; nice work. And very cool photo-art too.

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