Friday, 14 October 2016

Waiting for Morpheus



W O N D E R F U L  night that elapsed
in crackles of laughter and drops
of red wine and jazz scatting and candlelight eyes,
ending with dark chocolate and thick sips of espresso

until, at last … I lay drifting towards sweet dreams …

and then, THE WILD WIND came swooping in –
whooshing and thrashing and banging about
… as that CRAZY INSOMNIA …  got up on the roof, again,
growling and prowling … on giant feline paws … cat claws
click-clicking in stop-and-start scratches …
and spine-tingling chalk board screeches and crashes:
jumping and thumping … somersaulting and pole vaulting
onto the windows – and streaking – down rattling glass

by morning:   I had been turned away
from the edges of slumber, A THOUSAND TIMES
while YOU slept like a log, beside me … as happy as a clam

the SANDMAN never did show up, for me
nor did MORPHEUS, the Greek ...
though, my HOBGOBLINS broke in around FOUR in the morning,
loaded down with every could-of and should-of
and forgot-to-take-care-of … that I had ever thought of

somewhere in the sheets of dark fog, I heaved a gargantuan sigh
… a colossal … herculean …  epic odyssey of a yawn,
and YOU – tenderly – flopped an arm across my stomach

I happened to notice because: I WAS WIDE AWAKE!!!

I tried and tried and tried to sleep… it would not happen …
I wished for it … I clamped my eyes shut …
I counted sheep … I counted backwards …
I offered up a silent prayer … NOTHING … NADA …
it wasn’t there … NO SLEEP … just that CRAZY INSOMNIA
up on the roof … whooping it up with THE WILD WIND

~ ~ ~

sunlight is tearing at the curtains, now –
I moved from bed to couch, in a bid to
tease my fuzzy, addled brain into believing:  it is time
to rise and shine – but instead, a fat sofa pillow
is calling come-hither to my wobbly head

I hear you in cheerful bits and pieces of coffee preparation
and I hear morning song birds ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
on the beach ~ ~ ~ fluttering like lovely notes of music round me

the little blue boat is bobbing next to the dock ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
and if I can just ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ drag myself across the warm sand castle sand,
passed ~ ~ ~ ~ the gnarly thicket ringed by the storybook lily pads ~ ~ ~ ~
towards the shushing waves ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ I’ll climb into that ~ ~ little blue boat
                        and begin to  float
                                                       softly ~ ~ ~
                                                                                    softly 
                                                                                             soft ~
                                                                                                              ~  ~    
                                                                                                                                                                
note: not a HUGE problem for me, but – from time to time – that CRAZY INSOMNIA climbs up on my roof (as I have come to think of it).  My husband, I don’t think, has ever had a sleepless night in his entire life.  He’s not one to let anything chew away at him … ever … that is a great gift to those who are similarly blessed.

Morpheus is the Ancient Greek god of dreams.  Beginning in medieval times, the name Morpheus began to stand for the god of dreams and/or sleep. 
 
photo:  Blue Boats at Mesechie – W. Bourke

© 2016 Wendy Bourke

17 comments:

  1. I have occasionally had insomnia. Your poem made it very, very real & reminded me how much I hate it when it happens. The night is SO long. I especially empathize with the words "I had been turned away from the edges of slumber, A THOUSAND TIMES. I hope reading this poem before I sleep does not affect me. Smiles.

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  2. I think many women can relate, Wendy, to having bouts of insomnia while our husbands happily snooze. I enjoyed reading your poem and also viewing your stunning picture.

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  3. I love how you personified insomnia - it's like a friend or foe you can't ask to leave.. and yet in the morning a little blue boat...always a lifeline

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  4. Gosh this is so raw and palpable! You give insomnia a whole new level! Kudos!

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  5. Love! What passion--An inspired writing through and through! I wish I had written this, sigh.
    "… as that CRAZY INSOMNIA … got up on the roof, again,
    growling and prowling … on giant feline paws … cat claws
    click-clicking in stop-and-start scratches …"

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  6. can feel the chalkboard screeches of insomnia...the use of Caps to emphasize is so interesting.

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  7. The way you demonize the insomnia, with it's chalk-boards and cat-claws made me recognize it... it's been a while, but it does happen. Love your use of CAPS.. to underline the sense of panic.

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  8. I think it was the espresso. If I have caffeine after 11 a.m., my eyes are like spaceships all night long. Lol. I love the hobgoblin personal you gave insomnia.

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    1. Sherry, the idea of your eyes getting that huge made me laugh!

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  9. Insomnia is such a torment when it strikes.....Good read here, Wendy

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  10. OH, I could feel your words, I have nights where I can't sleep and unfortunately the alarm rings to start a new day and yesterday never ended..

    by morning: I had been turned away
    from the edges of slumber, A THOUSAND TIMES …

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  11. And here I was thinking that my sleepless nights got a bit... involved. Love the tone of this piece. It's perfectly relatable. And the inclusion of myth makes it delicious to me.

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  12. What a glorious poem to insomnia (brought on admittedly by a wonderful evening). I thoroughly enjoyed reading the account of you misery but as that seeems cruel to say I should delete it, but it really was beautifully written!

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  13. and spine-tingling chalk board screeches and crashes:
    jumping and thumping … somersaulting and pole vaulting
    onto the windows – and streaking – down rattling glass

    One can sure turn crazy tossing and turning. Strangely enough many still able to tolerate it by not resorting to the pills (mindful of side-effects)

    Hank

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  14. Conscion keeps me awake asking for forgetfulness or forgiveness.
    Settling all my accounts ... I have fewer sleepless nights and sometimes I go to bed early and wake on sunny afternoons. :)
    ZQ

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