Wednesday, 12 February 2020

lost in space


I sigh ... as I open up a blank page on my computer and begin the transition to 'writing-headspace' ... that indefinable level of consciousness ... far away from where one's body sits ... that must be gotten to, in order for fingers to land on the keyboard and words to appear on the screen.

I stare at the empty white rectangle perched before me ... and sigh again.

That is (primarily) because … (I confess) ... I'm a natural-born sigher ... I suspect I have sighed from the day I was born … Who knows ... perhaps I sighed before that ... sighing and sucking my thumb in utero. (Though, I have long since abandoned thumb sucking ... the sighing thing, has pretty much stuck.)

Sighing is a language onto itself ... a language that I speak, fluently ... I sigh when I switch paths … I sigh when I can't come up with an answer.  (I don't immediately sigh  ... but 20 to 30 seconds into a good ponder … if I'm still clueless ... I sigh.} ... Then I change direction and ... you've-got-it, I sigh, again … Having altered course, I wonder: where should I begin ... and yep ... another sigh ... And so it goes, fluttering like a befuddled butterfly flitting from pillar to post ... in sighs.

When I'm writing … I'm a sighing machine.   

Many people …  I have come to discover … believe that sighing is an indication that the sigher is experiencing some level of distress ... a bashful cry-for-help, if you will ... Thus, all my life, I have been asked:  'Is something wrong?(Always by new acquaintances … never by old friends … who – over time, it seems – become sigh-immune.)

Whenever
I am asked that question, it catches me unaware ... and I think to myself: 'Dang, I just sighed' … Once, after, what I gather, had been a particularly epic sigh, a co-worker remarked: 'After a sigh like that, I gotta believe, you must be thinking – as God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.' ... but no … as I explained ... the Liquid Paper was lumpy.

Sighing ... it is true ... is open to interpretation … but, at least, it is a fairly quiet quirk … Who among us doesn't know a natural-born throat ticker or tongue-clicker, or pen-fidgiter, or finger-tapper ... Then there are the natural-born blurters ... people who blurt out the oddest remarks ... completely out of context.

Like the sighers, the tickers and clickers, the fidgiters and tappers, et al. ... they too, are ... temporarily ... lost in space ... in a place ... far, far away ... The blurters, of course ... the farthest away, of all.


photo:  Same Place/Different View (Rocky Point Pier Benches in Port Moody) - W. Bourke

© 2020 Wendy Bourke

1 comment:

  1. I am a Frequent Sigh-er too, Wendy....mainly because I have been exhausted for roughly three decades, if not longer, LOL. I enjoyed this. I totally relate. At work, I remember someone mentioning my sighing...I wasnt too aware of it till then........

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