Friday, 7 February 2020

the commuters - a tanka prose piece.






on the busy city street ... in the quickening of night ... raindrops-on-asphalt, give the illusion ... of an ebony crackle glass path, lined with brilliant ruby strings (recast from blinking cherry-red brake lights) ...

against this dazzling backdrop ... abracadabra-ed in splashes of cinematographic sparkle and glow ... a sea of knackered out commuters ... caught in traffic ...in the rain ... head home ... slowly home ...

if a single moment ... from that daily grind .... could be captured in time ... the range of facial countenances would likely provide an infinite collage of human expression … from apprehension … to anger … to indifference … to delight … (each look revealing and chronicling the effects of the day … and the level of anticipation … that the destination held for each traveller) … 


the lucky ducks … among us … cheerfully … paddling our way to warmth … and love … and caring

~ ~ ~

wafts of supper
as I turn the doorknob
and hear the tinkle of soft music ...
all five senses firing
as I call out 'I'm home'



photo:  Downtown Vancouver in the evening rush to get home – W. Bourke 

© 2020 Wendy Bourke

18 comments:

  1. I love the idea of the blurred red tailights as a crackle glass path. I can feel the weary commuters. A lovely homecoming, to good smells, warmth and light. Beautiful, Wendy.

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  2. Oh yes, that's the best kind of homecoming! And yes, so many different moods in those commuting cars. You make me see and feel it all.

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  3. Ah! the peace and love at home: a tired heart's dream!

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  4. The descriptive detail is wonderful in this piece, Wendy, especially ‘raindrops-on-asphalt, give the illusion ... of an ebony crackle glass path, lined with brilliant ruby strings (recast from blinking cherry-red brake lights)’ and the phrase ‘ abracadabra-ed in splashes of cinematographic sparkle and glow ... a sea of knackered out commuters’. I felt the sense of relief and comfort in the final lines.

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  5. A door opens and (finally) you're in Heaven. Well done.

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  6. I work from home but I remember those days commuting. To me, seeing the faces I love announce they are home brings me a lot of joy.

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  7. This brings me back to going home from a temp job decades ago, both frustrated and lulled by the traffic and so, so relieved to get to the door.

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  8. The image of a street in rain in the evening might me reflect so much on how it looks (and feels). There is something of your imagery of the faces that makes me think of Ezra Pounds "In a Station of the Metro", and then resolution when you come back home being separated in comfort from the crowds.

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  9. Luv that waft of supper welcoming. Happy Sunday

    Much 💝love

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  10. Having done my stint in the frenetic foray that is rush hour, I identified with your sigh of content once you open the door of home! Beautifully written.

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  11. Vivid imagery of the stress of commuting against the welcome home. I hope all of us could have such an arrival at home.

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  12. It is always nice to arrive home after a busy day and commute. You have penned the daily grind well.

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  13. ebony crackle glass path.. love that! So nicely done!

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  14. There is nothing quite like that weight being lifted from your shoulders as you finally get back home after another work day to greet ones partner and kids. Excellent observation Wendy.

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  15. I wonder how many lucky ducks are among the masses of commuters each evening. Not many, I'd venture. But, then, I'm a pessimist when it comes to warmth and love...

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  16. I love this, Wendy. The verse says so much about love, home, human experience and the needs of the heart. And I am in awe at your ability to find so much poetic beauty in the evening commute. Really wonderful!

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  17. Wendy, I love how the vividness of the imagery puts us there with the speaker, experiencing the people and the view. I can see the "abracadabra-ed in splashes of cinematographic sparkle and glow" so clearly, the same goes for the joy of that final "I'm home".

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